Daily book for young women seeking God's will in their lives!
--Jesus Speaks
--Scripture
--Advice
--To Do
--To Journal
--Prayer
--Jesus Speaks
--Scripture
--Advice
--To Do
--To Journal
--Prayer
Order here:
May 25, 2012
MOVIES: "WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU'RE EXPECTING"
I thought I was gonna hafta hate on this film, but lo and behold I am pretty much lovin’ on it!
First of all, this is a very well-constructed film. Excellence in filmmaking. Excellence in COMEDIC filmmaking which is NOT easy. Excellence in ENSEMBLE filmmaking which is even harder. THIS is how it’s done, people! Hollywood never ceases to amaze when they get it right.
Second of all, this is slightly more a guy/Dad’s film than a gal/Mom’s film, so I assumed the writer was male. Nope. Two chicks. I wonder if they asked guy friends “what they would say or do” in a given situation, because the guy parts are the funniest.
Why was I all set to hate on this film? Because I thought it was going to be another one of those: “Babies actually emasculate men” films. “Being married is a drag, and being a Dad is even worse” films. But, it’s not! This is a laugh-a-minute, fun ride of a film that follows several couples through pregnancies (some quite unplanned ) and births (with one adoption). Each character is more unique and well-developed than in most single-couple romantic films! Each scene is working overtime to give us lots of information and delight us with all kinds of hilarious “touches.” The acting is superb, the transitions are superb, the directing and editing, the dialogue and plot points are superb. Did I mention that the acting is superb? The cast simply out-acts each other scene after scene.
Is it crude? Oh yeah, but mostly in the beginning, and then it becomes much sweeter and realer (and stays just as funny BECAUSE it’s being so honest). I’m still surprised that women wrote this because the writing is so tough-minded—but kudos to Shauna Cross (“Whip It”) and Heather Hach (“Freaky Friday”) for a smart, tight, fine job. British director, Kirk Jones ("Waking Ned Devine," "Nanny McPhee") is scrumtrulescent.
Remember, the whole movie is about sex because it's about pregnancy and babies.
As is the custom today, things are mostly done backwards: jump in the sack immediately, have the baby, get married.
Is this a “Theology of the Body” film? Indirectly, yes. It shows the best of what’s possible in male/female relationships and the joy of being parents when both partners are “in it” no matter what. It shows taking life on the chin, the sorrows with the joys, turning lemons into lemonade, and having a healthy sense of humor about it all. Babies are called “miracles” many times, only once or twice with a hint of sarcasm.
The best part of the movie is the REAL issues, problems, and seemingly irreconcilable differences between the couples. Dilemmas that in other films (and perhaps real life) would be deal-breakers. But the “What To Expect” couples stay the course, and the big blowout arguments and all-too-typical fights are either resolved or semi-resolved in extremely healthy ways. We are served up that genuine relationships are an ongoing process of give and take. We just do NOT see this. Anywhere. And we need it so badly. Children of divorce do not know how to deal with marital conflict and they’re terrified of it. “What To Expect” handles it fabulously. Bravo.
“What To Expect” totally prepares one for the grossness and pain and “imperfectness” and uncontrollability of the whole process. It even shows how both men and women need to overcome all their false notions of being parents, but also false “expectations” of male/female relationships.
Not to be missed is the hysterical Daddy Dude Group that meets Saturday mornings in the park. Let’s just say it’s male-adaptive parenting. Emphasis definitely NOT on hovering, helicopter-parenting. Much more laid back. Guys just do parenting differently. MUCH differently.
There is warmth in this film, and it seems to be coming from a good place. The marital arrangements may be heterodox, but the “spirit of the law” is observed. Moral of the story: “When it comes to babies, there’s no such thing as ‘ready.’”
DISCLAIMER: Some feedback I got on this review said I wasn't clear enough about the wrongness of sex outside marriage. I do not believe in sex outside marriage in any form. Sex speaks the language of "you alone forever." Sex outside marriage is a kind of a lie spoken with the body. It is damaging and destructive. Sexual love is FUNDAMENTAL, FREE, FAITHFUL (marriage), FULL AND FRUITFUL.
OTHER STUFF:
--E-N-T-E-R-T-A-I-N-I-N-G.
--This movie reminded me of a time recently when I was with a bunch of home-school Moms who were trying to outdo each other in “small child ickiness” stories. They talked about having barf buckets around the house and at the kids’ bedsides (what is it with the peewees’ digestive tracts?) The Mom who won the Groddy-to-the-Max Award was the Mom who told of holding her baby over her head and the kid puked into HER mouth.
--I have friends who’ve been married 15 years. Their younger college-age friends greatly admire their marriage. But when the college students see them argue, they get scared and disillusioned: “But I thought you loved each other! But you’re fighting!” My married couple friends take this opportunity to tell them: “Yes—we’d better be fighting or our marriage isn’t real! Lovers’ quarrels!” Young people can tend to think that any kind of discord means “road to divorce.”
--“What To Expect When You’re Expecting” might be good “required viewing” for marriage prep courses!
--There are quite a few great side characters, too. All fleshed out. Well inserted, well used. Great, great filmmaking.
--Interesting how today everyone talks like a scientist: IVF, genetics, DNA, etc.
--Abortion is simply not an option. Not on the table.
--Some great affirmations of the need to man-up to fatherhood. And loving fatherhood.
--“What to Expect” gets so real. Says what people are really thinking and feeling. And it’s not the “awful truth.” It’s a pretty beautiful truth.
--It’s OK to fight and feel crappy and sick and be scared and make mistakes in this whole new world of parenting!
--Dennis Quaid!
--The golfcarts!
--Margaritaville!
--Trophy wife as heroine!
--The ovulation app.
--“Babies can smell fear.”
--I would actually watch this film again (partly to catch ALL the jokes). And I hardly ever watch films twice.
May 22, 2012
MOVIES: "FOR GREATER GLORY"
(stars Andy Garcia, Eva Longoria, Peter O'Toole, Eduardo Verastegui, Oscar Israel)
“For Greater Glory” (“Cristiada” in Mexico) is the untold story of Mexico’s Cristeros War (or “Cristiada”): 1926-1929, between the government and Catholics (the actual involvement of the Mexican clergy/hierarchy and Rome is a little murkier). The events are historically accurate, and certain characters are real personalities from the struggle.
Most Americans have never heard of the Cristeros War, and, it seems, just as many Mexicans are ignorant of it as well! Why? Understandably, it makes 33rd degree Mason President Calles and the Mexican establishment look bad, so it’s not in the history textbooks. His brutal enforcement of anti-clerical laws, expelling of foreign clergy, forbidding of Catholic Masses and sacraments, as well as the outright slaughter of many priests, nuns and laity was extreme repression and a complete denial of religious freedom. Calles thought the Catholics would bow to such pressure. No such thing. The “Cristeros” took up arms and fought back--clergy among them.
“Viva Cristo Rey!” was the rallying cry of the resisters, fighters, and all faithful Catholics. Calles set up a schismatic “patriotic Church” much like the Communists in China today. (Incidentally, Cubans echoed the same allegiance before being put to death by Fidel Castro’s firing squads—see the excellent book “Against All Hope” by Armando Valladares.)
If anyone DOES know about the Cristeros War, it’s usually because they know the story of the daring young Jesuit, Blessed Fr. Miguel Pro, who used to travel around Mexico in disguise to administer the sacraments. In a huge PR blunder, Calles had the executions of priests photographed. He thought this would terrorize and deter Catholics. It had the exact opposite effect. Martyrs were created, AND there was government-issue proof! The photos of Fr. Miguel’s execution by firing squad can easily be found on Google. Fr. Pro is not mentioned in “For Greater Glory,” but no need, there are other amazing stories of heroes and heroines to be told.
The film starts off with a light, “It can’t happen here,” “It won’t be that bad,” blasé attitude and quickly deteriorates into something much more serious. This early progression of events is well-done: swift and devastating, but then the 137-minute film drags on and on. The film begins as a kind of ensemble piece: but gradually becomes Cristero General Velarde‘s (Andy Garcia) story.
This epic’s set direction and costuming is pitch-perfect, but the cinematography—although lush—is distracting and halting with far too much hand-held: in all the wrong places. Poor direction and editing make the fine cast look bad at times—all except for my guy: Oscar Israel* (who plays Victoriano Ramirez) who, for the most part, spun gold out of dross. However, I really have to give the benefit of the doubt to the possible fact that an over-the-top-Mexican-style-melodrama-western (which Americans often find laughable) was what the filmmakers were going for.
The dialogue is extremely simplistic and on-the-nose: “We will need guns! Yes, and ammunition!” “Be careful! You could get killed! Yes! I know I could get killed, but it will be for God and country!” Characters talk mostly in cliches. Several times I almost burst out laughing at very unfunny moments: “War is chess.” (Oh! I thought it was hell!) And Andy Garcia chomping on a cigar with one foot up on a rock in the background waiting for his tough guy line was just too much to bear silently.
We are automatically supposed to feel sympathy for the Catholics and identify with them, which I don’t think was achieved except on an intellectual level. I think many non-Catholics (and even some Catholics!) will bring their “Gripes Against the Catholic Church Baggage” into the cinema with them. But I guess that’s not the filmmakers’ problem. As long as the gripers don’t root for Calles. :]
It’s very important to read the text on the screen at the beginning and end of the film or you will not understand what’s going on OR the impact the Cristiada has had on modern-day Mexico.
What “For Greater Glory” lacks in cinematic prowess, it makes up in ambitiousness to tackle a crucial and uncannily timely subject. Like “October Baby,” which had its own filmmaking issues, “For Greater Glory,” too, succeeds on certain levels and is firmly in the must-see category.
Viva Cristo Rey!
________________
*Oscar Isaac played St. Joseph in “The Nativity Story.” Remember? The guy who stole Mary’s movie? Well I didn’t recognize him in “FGG,” but I just said to myself: “Put this guy in a Western and I will be glued.” (And I don’t even care too much for Westerns.) The way he moved made me believe he was a horseman and gunman, and he’s just totally otherwise riveting.
OTHER STUFF:
--Many Mexicans say that many of the stories of the Cristeros War were handed down to them in their families. Um, nuns fared very, very badly—worse than many laywomen. If you know what I mean.
--The Catholics were called “fanatics” by their enemies.
--Auxiliary Bishop Rojas of Chicago grew up in a region of Mexico where the Cristeros War was particularly intense. He recommends a 3-volume set of books on this era by _______, whom he says gives a good, unbiased account. Yeah, sorry, missed the author’s name.
--The film is doing VERY well at the box office in Mexico (#1 against “Titanic 3D”), but there are rumors that the government wants it shut down.
--Calles pretends to be doing everything for the “dignity of Mexico.”
--Eva Longoria is really pretty here. Much prettier than in “Desperate Housewives.”
--This movie was NOT timed to come out during the religious-freedom-reducing HHS mandate stand-off with the Obama administration. It was made several years ago and got held up with typical movie-delay issues.
--Acting problems or directorial problems? Sometimes the fine actors looked like they were not in good hands and didn’t know what was expected of them. This could also be an editing problem. Cut! Cut! Switch cameras! I couldn’t stop thinking of “Meet Joe Black” (Brad Pitt, Anthony Hopkins). Although FGG is MUCH better than “Meet Joe Black.” Bad directing/editing can make ANY ACTOR look bad. I actually felt that by the end, Andy Garcia looked like a buffoon. Sorry, but that’s my honest opinion.
--The grandiose soundtrack did not match the action. Sweeping-landscape-type musical segments were used for intimate close-ups between characters. The same strains just ground on and on to the point of monotony, and there’s hardly any silence. Just music, music, music at high-drama setting at all moments. It’s wearisome.
--The director or editor did not seem to know how to get into a scene late and leave it early. A rule of filmmaking. Every scene was grandly set up with pauses, longshots, grand entrances, etc. A very old style of filmmaking. The transitions from one scene to another were random and disjointed which made the whole thing feel episodic, like a bunch of vignettes strung together. There is much mugging, posing and general standing around.
--There is no impetus, no feeling of urgency, no through-line in every scene, no suspense that keeps us watching (only some mild suspense within scenes). It needed DOGEWA (from film school): “What is the character DOing to GEt what he/she WAnts at every single minute?”
--United States government involvement in the war (on Calles’ side) is explicit!
--Knights of Columbus figure in big here! (“Good guys”—in case you were wondering.)
--I got bored several times.
--The intricacies of the war are handled pretty deftly by the screenwriter. Pretty easy to follow.
--Kind of twisted theology/logic at the end when General Velarde talks to warrior priest.
--Lots of gunfights and small battles, but very little gore. The “R” rating is probably for the unusual, not-in-keeping-with-the-rest-of-the-film, violent ending. Hint: Worse than “Hunger Games,” but don’t wanna spoil.
--Absolute must-read about the fierce hatred against the Catholics and the beautiful stories of the faith and sacrifice of the Cristeros, BUT this article insinuates that Popes Benedict XV and Pius XI were part of, favorable to or at least pawns of the Freemasons: http://www.catholicapologetics.info/catholicteaching/history/cristero.htm
May 14, 2012
THEOLOGY OF BODY SEX ED
So, I was spouting off on Twitter and @MrsTSakr challenged me to go further. Thanks, @MrsTSakr!
THEOLOGY OF BODY: Catholics need do much more sex ed BUT 1) from parents 2) age approp 3) theology first (cuz takes into acct WHOLE person).
THEOLOGY OF BODY: Catholic parents who are virtually silent about sex do great harm to their kids.
THEOLOGY OF BODY: Have 2 hand it 2 PParenthood: So pro-active cranking out hi-quality vids & info from their perspective, & they're everywhere
(Apologies that this is such a cut-and-paste Frankenblogpost. Will make pretty one of these days.)
I think one of the main issues with sex ed is this: Each child is different. Planned Parenthood and the media try to pre-empt when parents plan to teach kids about sex (and hopefully parents ARE planning to have more than one talk with their kids at different stages--or better, have a generally healthy, open attitude toward the sacredness of body/sex), AND pre-empt when the children themselves are ready. HOWEVER, in our "media culture" and "pornified culture," it is next to impossible (even for homeschoolers) for parents to set the agenda for when their kids learn what about sex. Perhaps it has always been that way in history, but never before in history was the world swimming in porn 24/7.
OUR PORNIFIED CULTURE IS FORCING PARENTS TO LEARN, LIVE & TEACH THEOLOGY OF THE BODY TO THEIR KIDS. And this is a good thing.
With today's handheld, unbridled access to the internet (even on Nintendo DS that kids use for games) and all kinds of internet porn and twisted views of sexuality, one would think that all kids have seen quite an eyeful by age 10 (age 8 is the new age when children encounter internet porn). BUT there is still the phenomenon of kids who don't know much (and may not be interested), as well as the "latency period"--a time during kids' development when they are focused on other things besides sex.
This uniqueness of each child is one of the many reasons PARENTS need to be the first teachers of their children in this vital area: they know their individual kids. One size does NOT fit all. The difficulty with using a textbook that really "goes there" (like "Theology of the Body for Teens") is that there's going to be a huge mix of kids in a classroom. Some parents/teachers feel that to be so explicit is to give kids ideas. Another contingent says: Wake up! Look around you! If we don't address the real issues, we're not doing any good--it's just a joke, and the young people know that.
Either way, parents MUST get over their own embarrassment (or feeling like hypocrites because they weren't angels when they were young) and GO THERE. If parents sincerely don't know what to say, they must educate themselves. What could be more important? If your kids get sex/the body/true love/relationships/beauty right, they've got one of the biggest chunks of life right (with eternal consequences). Some of the resources below can help greatly, too.
Your kids are starved for knowledge about the sex/the body/true love/relationships/beauty. They WILL use these resources if you provide it for them. They've heard the pretty lies. They're looking for something else. They'll see that God's way is HARD, but the most beautiful, true and worth the effort.
Yes, parents are busy with soccer practice, dance lessons, musical instrument lessons, after-school tutoring, jobs, pets, volunteering, civic involvement, kids with special needs, food allergies, etc.--all truly important and time-consuming tasks of parenting--BUT the number one job of parenting is the spiritual lives of your children (again, with eternal consequences). So parents, let yourselves off the hook! Make the mental switch that: parenting values, parenting wholesome sexuality, parenting the media (where so many values/ideologies/images/suggestions/influences/examples/models come through) is your Job #1 and all that other good stuff (pertaining only to this life) is secondary. Ahhhhhh. Don't you feel relieved already? :]
Check out this wonderful CD by St. Louis, MO, mom of 3 & gymnastics teacher, Patty Schneier (her personal testimony and advice to parents): http://onemoresoul.com/catalog/patty-schneier-colletion-p714.html ("Parents, Get Real!")
The Church (myself included) hasn't been doing enough to help parents/families in this all-important task in the face of Planned Parenthood, Howard Stern, porn, Dr. Drew, Katy Perry, and everyone else who is not afraid to teach your kids THEIR story of sex. We need to teach kids God's glorious story of sex (um, He invented it). Thank God we now have Blessed John Paul II the Great's THEOLOGY OF THE BODY which is THE answer!
WE LOVE YOU, PARENTS! WE SUPPORT YOU! WE PRAY FOR YOU! WE DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT! LET US KNOW HOW WE CAN HELP YOU! EVERYTHING WE PRIESTS, NUNNIES & OTHER CONSECRATED CELIBATES DO IS FOR THE FAMILY, THE BASIC CELL OF SOCIETY AND DOMESTIC CHURCH: SCHOOL OF LIFE AND LOVE!
Please let me know of other great sex ed resources you know about. God bless.
Here's the Vatican Document on teaching sexuality to young people, "The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality":
http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/pontifical_councils/family/documents/rc_pc_family_doc_08121995_human-sexuality_en.html
Also check out the very cool Vatican Document (yes, Vatican documents can be cool) "Charter of the Rights of the Family": http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/pontifical_councils/family/documents/rc_pc_family_doc_19831022_family-rights_en.html
If you have time while visiting Chicago, the Museum of Science and Industry has an amazing "YOU!" exhibit with a whole thing about the beginnings of life in the mother's womb: models, and an incredible CGI movie. Very beautiful, respectful, scientific, pro-life. Says something like "YOU began at conception...." GOOD FOR ANY AGE--EVEN THE WEE ONES!
SEX ED CURRICULUM: There's something called "New Corinthians" series that some homeschool Moms have recommended to me. Here's an overview:
The New Corinthians Curriculum for K-8
1
Corinthians is the basis for a Catholic religion curriculum called New
Corinthians. This curriculum got its start from the
document, The
Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality from the Pontifical Council on the
Family.
The Curriculum follows Vatican Guidelines.
Four Guiding Principles
The Curriculum follows Vatican Guidelines.
Four Guiding Principles
The
Foundation for the Family intends to open the door to virtue, while closing the
door to vice, as Pope Pius XI urged in the 1930s. The best way to do this, the
Council points out, is to follow these four principles regarding information
about sexuality (TMHS §65-76):
1. Each child should receive individual instruction, so that the parent is aware of, and sensitive to, that child's individual needs.
2. Sexual activities should always be discussed within the framework of Catholic moral teaching.
3. Sexuality should always be viewed as a manifestation of love, whether in virginity or marital fidelity as a component of one's spiritual life. "...Suitable advice should always be given regarding how to grow in the love of God and one's neighbor, and how to overcome any difficulties..." (TMHS §71).
4. When introduced at the appropriate age, sexual education should be done with the utmost delicacy, respecting the privacy and natural modesty of each child.
The New Corinthians Format
To honor these instructions, The New Corinthians Curriculum (NCC) employs the following strategies:
1. Parents and Teachers use the same text. The role of the NCC is to assist parents in teaching their children about the virtues, including the virtue of chastity.
A guiding principle in the NCC has been to recognize the primary responsibility of parents for such education. "The Church has always affirmed that parents have the duty and the right to be the first and the principal educators of their children" (TMHS §5).
Parents frequently turn to educators for help in presenting the delicate matter of human sexuality, but this collaboration is "of a subsidiary nature" (TMHS §67). Any assistance must be subordinated to the wishes of the parents, and the best way to make this clear is to provide parents with the same text educators will be using. Using the NCC, they teach off the same page. This is in keeping with the Council's recommendation that parents "keep themselves precisely informed on the content and methodology with which such supplementary education is imparted" (TMHS §115).
Each lesson of the curriculum has an "At Home" component, integrating the lesson into the home life of the student. The family is "the best environment to accomplish the obligation of securing a gradual education in sexual life" (TMHS §64). Any education that attempts to cause "affective" change in the lives of students must rely on the guidance and involvement of parents as a primary resource.
2. The curriculum uses the Bible for its "student text," and is cross-referenced to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, providing doctrinal support wherever matters of Catholic moral teaching appear.
Our generation has been blessed with the first new Catechism in 400 years. The New Corinthians Curriculum takes advantage of this great gift of the Holy Spirit and acknowledges its superiority over any other catechetical resource. Parents, teachers, and students are directed to the inspired word of God and the constant teaching of the Church to understand God's intentions for human sexuality.
3. The virtue of chastity is a habit developed in training for Christian discipleship. Therefore, the first five grades do not treat human sexuality, but show students the nature of Christian love and its demands: kindness, obedience, and the will to sacrifice for God and neighbor. The Fourth and Fifth Grade units teach the discernment of God's call and the formation of conscience, two essentials for understanding chastity.
The curriculum uses the lives of the saints to inspire and positively direct students to discern God's call and cultivate the virtues necessary to live spiritually fruitful lives. "The objective of the parents' educational task is to pass on to their children the conviction that chastity in one's state in life is possible and that chastity brings joy" (TMHS §73, our emphasis).
A child may be called to marital chastity or to the commitment of perpetual virginity. With this in mind, the curriculum respects the freedom of each child and encourages "their personal vocation... without trying to impose a pre-determined vocation on them" (TMHS §35).
4. Respecting the child's "right to chastity," the Council recommends that each be "adequately informed by their own parents on moral and sexual questions in a way that complies with his or her desire to be chaste and to be formed in chastity" (TMHS §118-119).
This means that sexual information may never be forced on children (TMHS §120) and that "Parents and all who help them should be sensitive: (a) to the different phases of development, in particular, the 'years of innocence' and puberty, (b) to the way each child or young person experiences the various stages of life, (c) to particular problems associated with these stages" (TMHS §124).
The New Corinthians Curriculum provides parents with a separate handbook a puberty unit for personally introducing matters of human sexuality to their children. This is to be conveyed when the parents feel it is appropriate, based on the mental and physical maturity of the child. The recommended time is before the Sixth Grade, but the decision on this belongs solely to the parents.
1. Each child should receive individual instruction, so that the parent is aware of, and sensitive to, that child's individual needs.
2. Sexual activities should always be discussed within the framework of Catholic moral teaching.
3. Sexuality should always be viewed as a manifestation of love, whether in virginity or marital fidelity as a component of one's spiritual life. "...Suitable advice should always be given regarding how to grow in the love of God and one's neighbor, and how to overcome any difficulties..." (TMHS §71).
4. When introduced at the appropriate age, sexual education should be done with the utmost delicacy, respecting the privacy and natural modesty of each child.
The New Corinthians Format
To honor these instructions, The New Corinthians Curriculum (NCC) employs the following strategies:
1. Parents and Teachers use the same text. The role of the NCC is to assist parents in teaching their children about the virtues, including the virtue of chastity.
A guiding principle in the NCC has been to recognize the primary responsibility of parents for such education. "The Church has always affirmed that parents have the duty and the right to be the first and the principal educators of their children" (TMHS §5).
Parents frequently turn to educators for help in presenting the delicate matter of human sexuality, but this collaboration is "of a subsidiary nature" (TMHS §67). Any assistance must be subordinated to the wishes of the parents, and the best way to make this clear is to provide parents with the same text educators will be using. Using the NCC, they teach off the same page. This is in keeping with the Council's recommendation that parents "keep themselves precisely informed on the content and methodology with which such supplementary education is imparted" (TMHS §115).
Each lesson of the curriculum has an "At Home" component, integrating the lesson into the home life of the student. The family is "the best environment to accomplish the obligation of securing a gradual education in sexual life" (TMHS §64). Any education that attempts to cause "affective" change in the lives of students must rely on the guidance and involvement of parents as a primary resource.
2. The curriculum uses the Bible for its "student text," and is cross-referenced to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, providing doctrinal support wherever matters of Catholic moral teaching appear.
Our generation has been blessed with the first new Catechism in 400 years. The New Corinthians Curriculum takes advantage of this great gift of the Holy Spirit and acknowledges its superiority over any other catechetical resource. Parents, teachers, and students are directed to the inspired word of God and the constant teaching of the Church to understand God's intentions for human sexuality.
3. The virtue of chastity is a habit developed in training for Christian discipleship. Therefore, the first five grades do not treat human sexuality, but show students the nature of Christian love and its demands: kindness, obedience, and the will to sacrifice for God and neighbor. The Fourth and Fifth Grade units teach the discernment of God's call and the formation of conscience, two essentials for understanding chastity.
The curriculum uses the lives of the saints to inspire and positively direct students to discern God's call and cultivate the virtues necessary to live spiritually fruitful lives. "The objective of the parents' educational task is to pass on to their children the conviction that chastity in one's state in life is possible and that chastity brings joy" (TMHS §73, our emphasis).
A child may be called to marital chastity or to the commitment of perpetual virginity. With this in mind, the curriculum respects the freedom of each child and encourages "their personal vocation... without trying to impose a pre-determined vocation on them" (TMHS §35).
4. Respecting the child's "right to chastity," the Council recommends that each be "adequately informed by their own parents on moral and sexual questions in a way that complies with his or her desire to be chaste and to be formed in chastity" (TMHS §118-119).
This means that sexual information may never be forced on children (TMHS §120) and that "Parents and all who help them should be sensitive: (a) to the different phases of development, in particular, the 'years of innocence' and puberty, (b) to the way each child or young person experiences the various stages of life, (c) to particular problems associated with these stages" (TMHS §124).
The New Corinthians Curriculum provides parents with a separate handbook a puberty unit for personally introducing matters of human sexuality to their children. This is to be conveyed when the parents feel it is appropriate, based on the mental and physical maturity of the child. The recommended time is before the Sixth Grade, but the decision on this belongs solely to the parents.
WANT PORN PREVENTION & RECOVERY RESOURCES? HERE YOU GO:
http://hellburns.blogspot.com/2008/10/porn-prevention-and-recovery-resources.html
SEX ED AND THEOLOGY OF THE BODY FOR PRE-TEENS & YOUNGER KIDS:
There is precious little good stuff for younger kids, but I just re-discovered the awesome Coleen Kelly Mast, PhD http://sexrespect.com/ and heard her speak recently. Near the bottom of her website she has something for "PRE-TEENS." She's in the process of recording a talk for parents of pre-teens that will be made available on her website.There's some curriculum in the works for younger students (according to Theology of the Body), but unfortunately, it's not quite out yet.You can get this video USED on Amazon (don't know why it's not around any more)! "If You Love Me, Show Me" from CCC of America that did all those animated saint vids.It's animated about a couple going on a date, very discreet, and comes with a comic-book style booklet also. Just about the pressures kids will face being asked to do things they don't want to do. Great for younger kids (too hokey for today's pre-teens, most likely).There's also "The Joyful Mysteries of Life" for younger children from Ignatius Press (a book written by parents for their children).Jason Evert is just so awesome for junior high (and high school level). He has lots of short YouTubes on his YouTube channel www.YouTube.com/JasonEvert
Check out for example: "Theology of Her Body" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLQtHHKWKwsHe and his wife did a DVD series called "The Pure Life" which is fantastic--NOT HOKEY. Aired on EWTN. Sitting around in a HIP environment talking with real teens about their experiences. The teens are amazing. I highly recommend.... Not graphic, but very direct. Great stuff on how to date. Wanna really do your pre-teen/teen a favor? Just buy this whole set and hand it to them!
RANDOM OTHER STUFF:
Jason and Crystallina, his wife, have little pamphlets: "Pure Love," "Pure Womanhood," "Pure Manhood," Daily book: "365 Days of Purity"
Katrina Zeno gives talks on catechizing Theology of the Body at different age levels: http://www.wttm.org/retreats.html#talks She doesn't seem to have curriculum yet....
www.ruahwoods.org (Ohio) Theology of the Body camps for teens (education, training)
www.purefashion.org Actually CUTE, contempo stuff--not Amish!
Choosy homeschool Moms choose "Jiff," AND: http://www.mycatholicfaithdelivered.com/home.aspx?pagename=EngagingContent
Sr. Hannah Klaus, PhD's TEEN STAR: Sexual Teaching in the context of Adult Responsibility http://www.teenstar.org/
TOB FOR TEENS:
(Some of the above resources for pre-teens apply, of course.)
(non-graphic, sticks to theology, not biology/anatomy) students and teachers use same text. Questions at end of every chapter
I believe there's some confusion about the concept of "innocence." INNOCENCE is not IGNORANCE. Ignorance is not innocence. There is a terrible expression which I’m afraid is all too true: “Too innocent to stay that way.” There is a misunderstanding by many adults that keeping kids in the dark will keep them innocent/good, and that if kids have knowledge it will automatically corrupt them. They also think that just by knowing something, it takes innocence away. What takes innocence away is doing/participating in evil OR thinking good is bad and bad is good (Isaiah 5:20). And kids WILL get muddled without the proper information IN CONTEXT (2 Corinthians 10:5). Young people need to “hear it first” in the Church! Thank you. End of rant.
"Theology of the Body for Teens" by Brian Butler & Jason Evert www.ascensionpress.com student text, teacher text, DVDs. Very thorough and in-depth but also very gritty AND ASSUMES TEENS ARE SEXUALLY ACTIVE, SO IT GETS A BIT GRAPHIC. Coleen Kelly Mast advocates "presuming innocence."
Homeschool/Home-educator parents need to capture the world, bring it into the home in order to "de-fang" it with their kids. The media provides excellent opportunities to do this, rather than keeping kids totally away from most mainstream media.
"Media Literacy Education" is the Catholic Church's official position on media! Engage and question media! (My movie review of "Blue Like Jazz" goes more in depth on this: http://hellburns.blogspot.com/2012/03/movies-blue-like-jazz.html )
"Theology of the Body for Teens--Middle School Edition" by Brian Butler, Jason Evert & others (Gr 7 & 8) www.ascensionpress.com
Excellent beginning book for teens to read themselves: (2 books in one): "Theology of His Body/Theology of Her Body" by Jason Evert
Complete Q and A books for teens (detailed):
"Real Love" by Mary Beth Bonacci www.ignatius.com
"If You Really Loved Me--100 Questions on Dating, Relationships, and Sexual Purity" by Jason Evert
5-year-olds + the birds & the bees--good "secular" advice. Just "add" God! ("Just add God" as, like, the source and summit of EVERYTHING) http://t.co/EE26Yiv
Tweens & teens who r not ready to date. Great article w/lots resources! Just "add" God! ("Just add God" as, like, the source and summit of EVERYTHING) http://t.co/mlJQOgv
COMPREHENSIVE THEOLOGY OF THE BODY RESOURCES (NOT JUST FOR YOUTH):
www.christopherwest.com books, free downloads, DVDs, CDs (also, search for Christopher West and Jason Evert YouTubes)
www.theologyofthebody.net largest compilation of all kinds of resources / speakers. Fr. Loya DVDs
www.ascensionpress.com line of TOB books. 3 EXCELLENT laminated pull-out introductions: “What Is Theology of the Body and How Can It Change My Life?” “The Contraception Question,” “Living Together Before Marriage”
Google: “Biology of the Theology of the Body,” Vicki Thorn, RN (the science to back up TOB)—she also founded
“Project Rachel” for post-abortion healing—Her DVDs/CDs: www.theologyofthebody.net
www.taborlife.org Fr. Thomas Loya—premiere TOB speaker, available also for retreats, men’s porn recovery, etc. His study group: www.ustream.com/channel/theology-of-the-body Past classes are archived.
Pope Benedict’s Intro to TOB: “On the Collaboration of Men and Women in the Church” www.vatican.va
“Theology of the Body for Teens” (DVDs, workbks, leader’s guide) www.ascensionpress.com
“Theology of His/Her Body” by Jason Evert (2 books in one, great intro to TOB, very easy read!) www.ascensionpress.com
“The Thrill of the Chaste” by Dawn Eden (NYC rock journalist living “Sex and the City” lifestyle, Catholic convert)
“Wait for Me” by Rebecca St. James (practical ideas)
www.TOBET.org—teens evangelizing teens with TOB (peer ministry) Monica Ashour’s group out of Texas, can be replicated
RESOURCES BY / FOR WOMEN: (www.DemandYourDignity.com)
Karen Doyle: “The Genius of Womanhood” small gift-style book www.pauline.org
Prudence Allen, RSM: "The Concept of Woman" (she's big into the complementarity of the sexes)
Janet Smith: "Why Humanae Vitae Was Right--A Reader," "Humanae Vitae: A Generation Later," "Life Issues, Medical
Choices," "The Right To Privacy"
Kimberly Hahn: "Life-Giving Love--Embracing God's Beautiful Design for Marriage"
Alice von Hildebrand: "The Privilege of Being a Woman"
Sr. M. Timothy Prokes, FSE: "Towards a Theology of the Body and Mutuality: The Human Image of Trinitarian Love"
http://www.christendom.edu/grad/acad/grad%20prof%20pages/prokes.shtml
Sr. Therese Auer, OP (Nashville Dominicans) has written something on TOB for use in schools (her specialty is
philosophy) stauer@op-tn.org 615-256-5486
Sr. Sara Butler: "The Catholic Priesthood and Women" (world-class theologian, Sister was a proponent of women's
ordination for many years, until coming into contact with John Paul II and Theology of the Body)
Katrina Zeno: “Discovering the Feminine Genius” (formerly "Every Woman's Journey") and "The Body Reveals God—an
Introduction to the Theology of the Body"
Mary Healy: "Men and Women are from Eden"—great little intro and study guide
Mary Shivanandan: "Crossing the Threshold of Love"
Patty Schneier: CDs from http://www.onemoresoul.com/ (talks to parents, teens, and a powerful personal testimony)
Steve Harvey: “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man” (with reservations! Harvey is OK with sex before marriage)
John & Stasi Eldredge: “Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul”
“Women, Sex and the Church” (compilation by Erika Bachiochi) www.pauline.org
“Woman, God’s Masterpiece,” must-hear 2-CD set by Christopher West
“On the Dignity and Vocation of Woman,” “Letter to Women,” “Women—Teachers of Peace,” all by Pope John Paul II
PRO-LIFE:
www.humanlife.org free chastity,
relationships, pro-life resources
www.rockforlife.org – info,
T-shirts, etc.
“180 Movie” YouTube (pro-abort teens change minds on spot) “Unplanned” DVD & book by Abby Johnson, former director of one of the largest Planned Parenthoods in America |
MUST-SEE
MOVIES: “Fireproof,” “Courageous”—what does it mean to be a man?
TEEN
HOMEWORK: Watch YouTubes by Jason and Crystalina
Evert, Christopher West, music vid “Who’s Gonna Save My Soul? by Gnarls
Barkley about “person,” Vicki Thorn YouTubes (science & biology of TOB)
|
EVOLUTION DVDS: Creation or Evolution? VISION VIDEO
The Origin of Man: Creation or Evolution? www.theologyofthebody.net
NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING: “Humanae Vitae” www.vatican.va
Janet Smith: "Why Humanae Vitae Was Right--A Reader”
Kimberly Hahn: "Life-Giving Love--Embracing God's Beautiful Design for Marriage"
Patty Schneier: CDs from http://www.onemoresoul.com/ (talks to: parents on TOB for teens, teens, & a powerful personal testimony)
Billings Method of Ovulation: www.boma-usa.org, “Couple to Couple League”
INFERTILITY: www.NaProtechnology.com natural,
moral, safe, effective medical treatments (also for other
feminine problems) based on lastest science
HOMOSEXUALITY / SAME-SEX ATTRACTION:
www.courageRC.net (also for youth, Spanish),
Books: “Homosexuality and the Catholic Church” by Fr. John Harvey
“The Heart of Female Same-Sex Attraction” by Janelle Hallman www.ivpress.com
PORNOGRAPHY:Use “search” feature at top of my blog for “porn”--articles and LOTS of resources for “porn prevention and recovery” : www.hellburns.blogspot.com (constantly updated)
May 3, 2012
April 29, 2012
MOVIES: "THINK LIKE A MAN"
When I read comedian Steve Harvey’s serious book: “Act Like
a Lady, Think Like a Man,” my first thought was: “Wow! He’s breaking the code
of silence! Men must think he’s a traitor—telling the ladies all the guy
secrets!” (The book came about as a sincere effort on Harvey’s part to
genuinely help clueless women in bad relationships with men.) The premise of
the movie: When a group of guy-friends realize that the women in their lives
are using the book to “change the game” and get what they want from the
relationship, the men decide to use the same book to make the women THINK they
are getting what they want. But, as the
voiceover says: “The only problem with PRETENDING to step up? You may find that
you actually HAVE to step up.”
Harvey’s main point to women is that men are inherently
lazy, or rather, that they’ll take the easy way out whenever given it. (The “player”
character admits he prefers women with “no standards.”) Women need to raise the
bar. Women need to require men to do certain things and take certain steps in
the relationship. The book itself is brilliant, exceedingly helpful, and is
quoted all through the movie. The movie also includes snippets of Harvey
himself on a fake talk show giving pointers. However, one unfortunate guideline
in the book is “The 90-Day Rule,” that is, women should make men wait 90 days
for sex, and then it’s OK. (Harvey has no problem with pre-marital sex.) Of
course, this is a longer waiting period than many, many “couples” utilize, so
at least it’s getting people thinking about the value of waiting at all.
DISCLAIMER: Some feedback I got on this review said I wasn't clear enough about the wrongness of sex outside marriage. I do not believe in sex outside marriage in any form. Sex speaks the language of "you alone forever." Sex outside marriage is a kind of a lie spoken with the body. It is damaging and destructive. Sexual love is FUNDAMENTAL, FREE, FAITHFUL (marriage), FULL AND FRUITFUL.Actually, the more I think about it, Harvey undoes and undermines all his good info and good advice (book & film) with his stance on pre-marital sex! Eeeeeek!
Sex IS marriage and marriage IS sex. Don't believe me? If you don't have sex, is your marriage consummated? I rest my case. If you still don't believe me, just listen to Cameron Diaz:
The film good-naturedly calls love a “battlefield” and
accuses the ladies of starting the “war.” Guy “types” (player, Mama’s boy,
dreamer, non-committer, happily-married man, miserably divorced man who thinks
he’s happy) are pitted against gal “types” (powerful CEO that can’t find her
equal, the one-night stand woman, the woman in the live-in relationship whose
partner is too comfortable and is not proposing, the single Mom who can’t find
a guy who likes kids). These are, of course, extremely realistic and common situations.
The conclusion of the film is a kind of a win-win for both “sides.”
It’s true that men are leaders in so many ways, but women must also exert their
feminine power to help shape overgrown boys into real men, NOT to emasculate
them, but to call them to true manhood! The guys may rise to the occasion kicking
and screaming, but as Harvey says at the end of his book: down deep, men really
want to be the real men that women want.
OTHER STUFF:
--Theology of the Body? Except for the premarital sex...HECK, YEAH!
--The screenwriters are men. It feels like there was a woman’s
touch in there, but it might simply be that Steve Harvey really LISTENED so
well to his female callers-in to his radio show (the inspiration for his book)
that he is now an expert on “what women want.”
--The movie highlights my FAVORITE parts of the book!
--Sad-but-true, watch-and-weep, super-short comedic cartoon “history
of men” at beginning of film. THEN: Cavemen=difficult rituals to become a man. NOW: Modern men=internet porn.
--Funny black guy/white guy humor.
--Some politically incorrect gay jokes. Interesting.
--VERY slight overtone of kids being a “problem.”
--Excellent character and plot development. Especially for an ensemble piece.
--The basketball scene could've been funnier. That includes the outtakes at the end, too.
--Excellent character and plot development. Especially for an ensemble piece.
--The basketball scene could've been funnier. That includes the outtakes at the end, too.
--This film is FILLED with lots and lots of banter. Guys
really talking stuff out with each other (and gals, too, of course) in their
guy way. The audience in my theater (young adults) were glued to the long
dialogue parts. It felt like they were trying to catch some wisdom.
--Hardcover books, Barnes & Nobles, and Oprah felt old.
--The live-in female partner is treated like “one of the
guys”!
--The happily-married man…really is!
--The high-powered CEO gal calling Harvey’s book “sexist”
proves to be just so flimsy. Men and women ARE different. Very different.
--Lots of sex talk, but it’s somehow sweet and, ultimately
PERSONAL, not IMPERSONAL, and ultimately HUMANIZING, not DEHUMANIZING.
--Men also expect a lot from women. “It’s 2012. She can open
my door for me!” Even sadder commentary: “Women will put up with anything once
they’re into you.” Actually, it’s even sadder than that. Women LOVE. And
sometimes they love very badly and put up with all kinds of things when they
should be loving themselves, too, and should either be changing the situation
or getting out of it.
--There is a faint underlying Christian element in the film.
One couple briefly pauses (before having passionate sex on a first date)
because they’re “Christian.” At LEAST we see that religion matters and has
something to say here.
--I have come to believe there’s nothing more beautiful than
a Dad. (Actually saw two happy fathers—without Moms--bringing their 3 kids each
into the cinema—but not for THIS movie! It was just such a beautiful sight.)
Especially nowadays. Because they don’t have to be. Society today does not push
men in that direction at all. And they can always impregnate and take off—as it
has always been, but now that is totally socially acceptable. Dads aren’t
necessarily respected by other men (but they get BIG props from women!)--and in
popular media, fatherhood is portrayed mostly as EMASCULATING and a DRAG—when fecundity
used to be (and actually IS) the epitome of masculinity!
--Men lie to women. Men won’t lie to other men, but they’ll
lie to women. Or at least some will. Just one more double standard. Women,
perhaps, manipulate, but are we as much outright liars as men are? I don’t
think so. Unless we’re just imitating bad men once again.
--The male/female differences are captured sooooo well in
this film. So true to life. And there’s plenty of defects on both sides.
--Sad notes that somehow feel light: stripper culture, STD
jokes, condoms.
--Men can’t become fulfilled if “all they want is sex.” Men
can’t become fulfilled without becoming “real men” WITH “real women.” Men just
THINK all they want is sex. Men just think they want to be “free.”
--Most honest comment which is actually a good thing and the
way God made us:
Zeke to Maya: “OK. I DO want the sex. And YOU.”
Zeke to Maya: “OK. I DO want the sex. And YOU.”
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